Fly me to the moon......

Fly me to the moon...
And let me play among the stars....
Let me see what spring is like on JUPITER and MARS...
In other please be true.....
In other words I LOVE...
Feel my heart with Song....
And let me SIng forever MORE....
You are all I long for all I worship and adore....
In other words please be TRUE.....
In other words I Love you....
Feel my heart with SONG...
And let me SIng Forever MORE.....
You are all I long for all I WORSHIP and ADORE.....
In other words HOLD my hand...
In Other baby KISS me...
Feel my heart with song...
And let me SING forever more...
YOU are all I long for....
All I worship and adore....

Thank you FRANK SINATRA

But I did see you today!!!

And you dont know just how your smile made me feel today!!!! its amazing how a few words from you and an acknowledgement is all it took too lift my mood for a few minutes..... I am soo glad we share what we share and its such an easy thing...... All of my most successful relationships have been the ones where the man has taken charge... You know when I step back and allow the man too take charge it works...... Al I gotta do is COAST.....

Sooo I am going too title this......

TIRED....
T...terrible feeling that I cant shake!!!!
I......Incredible feeling that my life at this moment aint worth shit......
R.....Red because my insides are going fucking insane.......
E...... Embarrassed cause shit is spinning out of control and I cant do a thing about it...
D......dedicated tooo team "I dont give a FUCK......

Fuck all this shit.... Today has been hell on wheels and I am tired of pretending that it hasn't.....

Just when I thought...

Just when I thought God stop hearing my prayers.....
He sent me you a diamond so rare....
We started out nice and cute and sweet....
But we ended ugly and rough with defeat....
Within ourselves did we retreat....
Yet we couldn't help but smile when each other did we see...
But I continued to question God and ask were you for me....
So one faithful day you reached back out.....
Found me on a website a little one called SKOUT.....
One thing lead to another and here we are now......
You came back in my life like BOOM... BAM.. POW....
I seen now that I must respect the leader with in....
Allow you too court me and establish us friend......
I have all confidence in u because we work so well....
And I thank you for showing me a different bell....


Soo much more to be written!!!

Okkkk soo I have been getting it...

I am going too vow to forever continue to blog my thoughts.... Cause I have been doing the damn thang!!! lol today I am going to try to put some blues and poetry to my blog... Its been a few years since ive done a POETRY.... Soo why not start with today!!...Okkkk I am off.....

Ooohhh did I mention the BULL

Shit that I been putting up with..... For this nigga that works in a program that's located on the FOURTH FUCKING FLOOR..... Well let me tell you..... Were gonna call him KING.... I met him unofficially in SEPT.... Very nice really funny sweet super smart and very in tune whats going on in the world and other shit.... We vibed hard and I am honestly into him.... So we exchanged numbers and we were talking for a few months... lets say DEC to mid FEB.... And the beef I had with him was that he never wanted to take me out.... Thie fuck do I look like telling your grown ass we need to go out we need to spend time together... He acted as if seeing me everyday was good enough for him.... Sooo i stopped texting(which I would do all the time at first) him and just fell back..... bowed out gracefully if you will.... I just felt like I was playing myself... And you know I am not in the habit of playing myself... And plus I prayed that if he was meant to be in my life and if not remove him.... Then lets say a month later I text him cause shit had gotten weird between us so iin a friendly way I text him saying I am still me we dont have to be weird around each other.... Soo then he texts me back all this rude shit.... Soo we argued back and forth and then I told him he didn't have to worry about me any gt damn more.... Fuck that shit I ont argue with no nigga about stupid shit... BIRDS do that... Plus he was excusing me of dumb shit outside my character.... Then we fast forward too maybe the beginning of April and I get really sick (FIBROIDS) soo I am off for 2 weeks and some change... He texts me I hope you feel better and BOOM just like that were back texting again....What can I say I really like him ALOT..... And I cant fathom putting up with some of the shit I have concerning this situation but it really blows me.... Like he tells me on Sunday night he went on A DATE with some other woman on FRIDAY.... NEVER does he ask me if I WANNA GO ANYWHERE........ So if your soo into me how could take some other chick out.... SOo we are not talking at this point we are just co workers that talk to each other....... NOTHING MORE NOTHING LESS...... I cant even express how I feel about it... I am soo over talking to him cause it just seems to be confusing and feels like it will end in alot of hurt...... And then at the end of the day I see him and he has the I FUCKED UP FACE..... Yea you did...Cause I am way to god of a woman to put up with stupid shit... And maybe because I am mad today it sounds like I am bashing this dude.... Hes not really that bad.... Just not doing things the way I want him too.... Or even giving me a a glimpse that this shit Is worth it...

I am having.....

A BAD FUCKING DAY...... I try soo fucking hard to do my best in life........ For my FRIENDS..... for FAMILY..... Esp my FUCKING MOTHER..... Considering she is all I have in this life...... But I am tired of people PISSING on me and telling me its "JUST THE RAIN".... THis shit aint RAIN and its sure as hell cannot be FUCKING LIFE..... I just found out that summer session 1 started yesterday...... And I have FUCKING I missed it because I still have a fucking job that doesn't get out until the 14th of JUNE..... Which means that going to be behind on trying to finish my fucking degree... I swear there is something trailing behind my feet to make sure I trip the FUCK up and continue on this FUCKED up path that I am on....... I don't see why I am trying soo hard for a job that don't appreciate a Got damn thing I do or effort..... Then Jackie calls me some BULL SHIT about the car.... And some fucking money... So I let her ass have it too..... because clearly she addicted too giving me shit about everything... Fussing about some shit does not help after the situation has already fucking happened doesn't make any sense..... This shit is for the fucking birds..... I am drinking like a fish tonight and if you don't want a drink then FUCK YOU!!!!

Jill Scott First CD motivated me to write this poem and it took me 3 months..ENJOY

One and Only

I met this guy with the most beautiful eyes
His sexual thug appeal was more than enough to make me rise
His body lauguage had me captivated
No make me motivated to make him my one and only
Didn't want to be "number one" but the only one
The one refered to as "Wifey"
The one whom which he spends his life with
The one who's dreams at night I enchant
I being the one in his life he couldn't do without
Better yet the one at night he couldn't do without
Just wanted to be his one and only
The one he thought about at night when he would get lonely
SHOCKED I WAS WHEN I FOUND OUT HE FELT THE SAME TOO

Lets catch up......

Soo I am blogging..... Something I haven't done in over 3 years...... Whats really good!!! I am home from college and I haven't finished it yet...... My crime waiting 3 and a half years too return for 6 classes..... I gotta do better about my ish.... But yea....I am an teacher assistant for DCPS and I teach music in the afternoons and  part time... So In a few ways I am doing my thang.... But my pockets could be wayyyy better if I had my damn degree..... I have made some terrible decisions.... But its apart of my story called life.... sooo I'll take it that way!!! I have been severely sick lately because I have 2 large fibroids... But my doctors cant tell me why I am in all this damn pain sooo they just continue too give me pain killers after pain killers.... I was diagnosed with Endometriosis but then my gyn took it back.. All I know is that I am not having a hysterectomy  .... So you can bet that.... So I pray that God heals me cause I want two babies... And no doctor is going to steal my ability to have them!!! Uhhhh My dad has been gone 3 years now... Still as hard as the day he died.... But Jackie is getting married to Anthony the man she was with almost 30 years ago... The man she had her first son with that passed away.... He is nice but I have too mover before he moves in.... Cause I cant handle my fathers house become his house I cant stay during this transition..... It just doesn't work for me mentally.... The wedding should be this Dec 2012...I should be out by 2/1/12.......OH and Dennis moved in last June 2011.... And Courtney moved in Feb 2012.... SO its a reg party 24/7 lol..... All in all its a good time.... I am returning to school this summer taking the classes that I didn't finish.... It looks like by Dec 2012 I should be done..... Yayyyy ME.... this is llllloooonnnnngggggg overdue!!!! As you can guess I haven't told many because its very embarrassing soo when I am done it'll probably be my little secret... unless someone reads this and I AM CAUGHT..... lol I wouldn't care.... Thats pretty much it about me... There's plenty more but I am at work.... Soo let me tend too my babies!!!!