whispers in my mind

I can still hear whispers of your voice in my mind

Kind of like my favorite song or scene from my favorite movie

Will this bad dream ever end

Today at the hospital I felt like I was dancing on the lines reality and pure insanity

I know other people are going threw worse, but I often think I don't care, the only thing that matters is him and this

Having to be strong for not only yourself but for others is a hard thing

Especially when you just want to give up and just give in

But what will doing any of those things do for the situation

All these emotions happy, angry,sad,helpless,worried,sick, but mostly sad for him

Often I think how could God allow this to happen to him someone soo faithful

But I can hear his voice telling me "God don't make us sick, but he does heal the sick"

I know the God I serve is a healer and a fixer

Only a little faith is needed to move a mountain

Sooo as I fast tomorrow I'll be asking God to renew my faith in him and his abilities tooo do just what his word says he will do

I asked summer today if he could promise me that he would be okay in time..And then seal his speech with the words " I promise"...And for the first time he told me that was something he couldn't do..

All words that followed from that point on seemed like empty solom drifting in to space and air

His voice I hear in my head very faint but consistent...

Sleepy and Sad.....

Love..Written in the 10th grade of high schhool..

Love

Maybe I'll never fall in love

It's only up to the heavens above

Maybe I'll never see the day

We make sweet love and sail away

Maybe there will just be one more night

So close your eyes and hold me tight

Rescue me from the rain

Be my healing for the pain

Its only your love I wish to gain

Making night turn into day

Wishing all my troubles away

So wont you come and ease my sorrow

Let me know we'll have tomorrow

And eventhough we may argue and fight

Just let me know everything

Will be alright

Summer time and the living is EASY?

You know I have been looking forward to SUMMER all year long. It's a break from the hustle and strife that winter brings all year long. Now I can say that I have been looking forward to being with SUMMER all year long or probably since December which is the heart of winter. But anyway now that summer is here its not going the way I thought it would some days its warm and other days its cool it also seems to be raining a lot. But on last Sunday the 7 day forecast revealed some shocking news (about the weather of course) and I hope none of it would come to past although we do need this kind of change (weather of course) but I still could not fathom having this week turn out the way the forecast predicted. Well today was probably the hottest day I’ve seen in years. But it's not like the weather man didn't tell me it was going to happen...I mean the weather so super hot. I now realize maybe I don't LOVE SUMMER as much as I thought I did. In life we are always looking for that thing that won't disappoint us, but we have to realize the unless it’s GOD we will be disappointed and that’s ok because what doesn't kill us will only make us stronger. I still do and will always LOVE SUMMER and I am indeed happy with the time I get to spend with it and plan on indulging myself in it as much as I can with the season that I have been anticipating to come since December of my sophomore year when I first realized how much SUMMER really meant to me. I want to say I can't live without Summer but I am sure I can I mean I know I can!!! But let me say this I will NEVER EVER forget how much SUMMER MEANS to me and I hope when Summer does look back it will FOREVER THINK OF ME!!!SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER you will forever be in my heart...I never knew a love like summer...

To bad SUMMER has no ear to hear my cry for it!!! Summer probably just sees me as just another woman that loves to indulge and bask in the warm weather it provides but its so much more than that.. I love its spirit and its soul, what is represents, and the love it gives!!!!So here is my ODE to SUMMER....

Because you guys know I could never tell SUMMER the truth!!! So I just smile and try to keep my eyes from staring directly at the SUN!!!!

Stronger than me?

So I woke up early yet and and still I didn't leave the house til about 11 am.. I guess I am still coping with jet lag...Every time I woke up I would fall right back to sleep...But anywho I went to the bank for my mom..Gave Gina (who's pregnant) her wallet bought some fly shoes and then went to the hospital with my daddy!!! You know what SUCK about him being in this coma is the fact that I can't talk to him..I have spoken no lie to my father everyday since I was born!!! Everyday for 21 years...Soo to be in the house and see his shoes and his clothes the way he left them...It just sucks cause he should be here with me right now...But I truly trust GOD and I always have soo let not my faith waiver now..I cannot, I will not, but most of all I "SHANT"...lol...I talked to my pregnant niece today (Jazmine) who is getting excited which I'm glad about she said she is nervous about when her grandfather wakes up and how he will react to the news...Hopefully he wont be mad at her...POINT blank I miss my DADDY...And I need him so God while you got him in this trance please fix him...And when he gets back to me I'm NOT ever letting him go!!!!